How to Deal with Toxic People in your life

Whether it’s a co-worker, a family member, a friend, a boss or a neighbour, we’ve all had the misfortune to deal with toxic people – the energy vampires that suck the life and energy out of you, put you down by demeaning your self-worth and cause untold amounts of stress that make you wish you never knew them to begin with. In fact, people who are in toxic relationships have a greater risk of heart disease, slower wound healing and have bad immune systems, sleep quality and adrenaline production.

Learning how to deal with toxic people is key if you want to lead a happy, productive and stress-free lifestyle. Here are some effective strategies to handle such toxic people.

Recognize the Signs

Negativity: They nag, criticize and talk ill about others all the time. Great minds talk about ideas, narrow ones tend to focus on people and their shortcomings and take pleasure in being able to complain about someone or something else in their life that’s always to blame for their circumstances.

Manipulation: Toxic people constantly deal out guilt trips, emotional blackmail and have no qualms about gaslighting you to exert their control over you. No matter what happens, you’re at fault and always have to end up apologizing, even if they are the ones that caused the issue in the first place.

Drama Magnets: Toxic people just can’t live without the drama and chaos, in every place, conversation and relationship. Any normal situation can easily get out of hand with engineered drama that’s designed to pit them as the victim.

Boundaries? What Boundaries?

Being natural bullies, they have no concept of personal space, boundaries or privacy. Anything that’s part of your life – your problems, secrets, successes – are all open grounds for discourse as they rip into what you did wrong (if it’s gone bad) or what they would have done better, just in case you did something that you feel happy about.

Limit Contact: Decrease personal interactions as much as possible, ether face to face or over the telephone. If not possible, set time limits and actively disengage when the (short) time limit runs out.

Don’t be JADEd : Do Not Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain yourself to someone who is committed to staying deaf forever. You’re just going to blow through your time and energy and only have stress and frustration to show for it.

Be The Broken Record: One of the best ways to deal with toxic people, is to keep saying the same calm, firm statement such as “I’m not going to have this conversation” and walk away. Don’t feel obligated to explain why or justify yourself in any way. If you feel you can’t really do that without creating more drama, there are plenty of apps on your phone that you can use to give yourself a ghost call that should help you break away from the person for that unmissable urgent phone call.

Prioritize Your Well-Being

Self-Care is Key: Do things that replenish your mental, emotional and spiritual reserves. Go out, meditate, read a book, whatever you need to do to recharge and find happiness, go after it without feeling like you owe anything to the toxic people that you are dealing with. If you won’t prioritize yourself, no one else will.

Be Supported: Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who empower you. They say you are the average of the five people that are closest to you, so make sure you choose people who are likely to elevate you in terms of success, happiness, health and growth.

Get Professional Help: If your toxic relationship stress is becoming hard to handle, consider going to a therapist to better understand how and why you react the way that you do. Not only can it help you get your mind off things, you will also learn a lot of ways to strengthen your mind to deal with toxic people better.

Be Ready to Sever Ties

Remember: you cannot control the behaviour of others. You are limited to your actions and reactions. Concentrate on the right sorts of energies to keep away harmful influences and protect your mental health aggressively.

If possible, consider the relationship. Is it salvageable? If they are communicative and receptive to change, talk to them face-to-face. In most cases, they are so ingrained in their ways, that change is impossible. The best thing to help yourself is to get out of it altogether, especially if it’s an abusive relationship.

Moving Forward

You have no obligation to tolerate negativity, disrespect or any situations that cause you misery. Just make sure you say No. First to yourself for putting up with such people, and follow it up with the person causing you the misery. Do it enough times, and they are likely to leave you alone. Sure, they are going to complain about you to everyone else, but at least, they’re out of your hair.